Someone's out there

It's been months since I've woken from a dead sleep (from a dream) and have been pissed beyond words.

Why pissed and at whom?

At myself for being so gullible and not seeing what was going on while avoiding the issue with a certain someone. Let's face it; even considering getting involved with anyone after, being so open with someone (opening my heart, living with that person) has me thinking; do I want to tie myself down to another person in the future and be taken advantage of again?

No.

Sexual contact.

I miss it. I miss the holding onto one another, whispers, sighs, staring into one another eyes while being sexually active. It's been a year this month (hello I'm a virgin once again!) when I last was sexually active. Sure I've been approached by many men, wanting a one nighter but couldn't see myself taking that chance. Go home to your wife and girlfriend please, don't screw around behind their back with another woman. In this day and age, who would want to get involved with someone knowing that there's been multiple partners and has god knows what?!?

Am I being too careful?

I envy all my friends who are married to that one person for life.

Think the whole waking up pissed from a dream was, caused by someone who I had spoken with over the phone, who hadn't known that I dumped the ex after finding out that he had been screwing around behind my back. New guy wants to start dating me; the whole courting scene. Phoning, coming over, taking me to lunch, etc. Time will tell.